The only time I set foot in the local mall is when I have the misfortune of accompanying my wife on her biannual trek to Bath and Bodyworks to replenish her supply of girl junk or when I need to replace my fitted St. Louis Cardinals cap. Yesterday was the former. Upon exiting the mall I noticed what appeared to be a fixed geared bike locked up at the bike rack. So I walked over to check it out. Alas, instead of it being a trendy, ultra hip, urban – wait, this is Idaho Falls – street prowler made in a loft shop by some green tea swilling, black rimmed glasses wearing, world music listening, self-important vegan, it was a trendy, ultra hip, urban street prowler made overseas for the giants of street cred, Raleigh.
I could feel my ears turning red as I perused the mass produced wonder. Closer inspection revealed that the drive train was utilizing a freewheel so my righteous indignation was further justified. BRAKES!?!?! REFLECTORS!?!?!? Where’s all the underground band stickers? Where’s the killer lug work? Hey, this thing is aluminum. You loser!!
I wonder what all the bike messengers and urban hipsters are going to start riding once we start seeing (pseudo)fixed geared bikes in Wal-Mart? Trust me, it won’t be long. I’ve already seen a chubby little twelve year old riding a 29er with disc brakes so fixed gears should start showing up in the big box stores by Christmas. You’ll know where to find them. They’ll be parked right next to the Huffy Cyclocross bikes.